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Robert Rorke

Robert Rorke

TV

Hey, Jude: You’re not convincing as ‘The Young Pope’

Does television need another Frank Underwood?

Somebody at HBO thinks so — and to make things more sensational than having the US president on “House of Cards” be a cold-blooded killer, “The Young Pope” places the snake in the grass in the Vatican.

Elected as the first American pope, Pius XIII (Jude Law), comes across as opaque, mercurial and cruel. In contrast to the real-life, beloved Pope Francis, this TV pope allows the faithful no access to him, delivering his first papal address at 9 p.m. from a darkened balcony in St. Peter’s Square. “I don’t know if you deserve me,” he seethes before retiring to his chambers.

Within the walls of Vatican City, he’s no better. The attending cardinals walk on holy eggshells as they await the enactment of his latest whim. His infallibility excuses him from talking to the press. He threatens to have the powerful Cardinal Voiello (Silvio Orlando) deposed after the latter challenges his executive decisions. After meeting with the Prefect of the Congregation of the Clergy, Pius confidentially asks if he is homosexual. The priest says yes. In no time, the young pope is offering his job to his mentor, Cardinal Spencer (James Cromwell), saying that someone in charge of dealing with priests can’t be gay.

“The Young Pope” doesn’t exactly crackle as a backstage political drama. Many of the scenes seem stagey, with actors gliding in and out of large rooms to be received at a wooden desk.

Created and directed by Paolo Sorrentino, the show is aptly titled. Three episodes in, we learn the exact sequence of events that took little Lenny Belardo from the orphanage where he was dropped off by his hippie parents to the highest seat in the Catholic Church. Raised by a nun, Sister Mary (Diane Keaton), he goes straight into the seminary, with only one week off in between both religious institutions for a taste of the real world. Small wonder that Spencer, who craved the papacy himself, accuses Lenny of being a “nine-year-old boy” who wants “to make the world pay” for being abandoned.

There’s also the problem of his faith — or lack thereof. “I don’t need to prove that God exists,” Pius rails at the crowd in St. Peter’s Square. In one scene, he confides, “I don’t believe in God,” then tries to pretend he was only joking. If Pius is a fake, as we suspect, then is it really believable that he would endure the privations of the priesthood for decades when he is, by his own estimation, “actually more handsome” than Jesus himself?

It may be Sorrentino’s intention to portray the Vatican, as Sister Mary says, “a city-state of lost souls who’ve never really lived,” but that’s nothing new, and the humorless “Young Pope” doesn’t exactly crackle as a backstage political drama. Many of the scenes seem stagey, with actors gliding in and out of large rooms to be received at a wooden desk. Law is a solid actor, but if he was hoping for this series to revive his career, he must be disappointed. Keaton — uncharacteristically still and unrecognizable in a nun’s habit — seems a bit tentative in her role as papal consigliere.

The opulence of the set design, the lush locations and the pristine costumes only make you think the Vatican is a pretty cushy place to be a petty bureaucrat. In the end, that’s what the young pope is. At least Frank Underwood knew how to make dramatic things happen — even if it meant killing a few people.

Another episode airs Monday night — a highly unusual move for HBO. Makes you wonder if they’re trying to get rid of “The Young Pope” as quickly as they can.