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Sports

Stitches: Balls to the wall

Feelin’ ballsy? Balls of confusion have led to $300 million drawings in both the Mega Millions and Powerball jackpots. Odds of hitting the Mega are 258 million-1, while Power is 290 million-1. And if you want it all, the odds of hitting both jump to 75 quadrillion-1. Impossible. But a greater chance of seeing that than a dazed and confused Malia Obama getting carted out of Lollapalooza after having her cell phone swiped. Now that’s impossible. … Has there ever been a fish Derek Jeter has failed to reel in?

Lotto? We can’t even pick between two teams any longer! Leaning on the Cardinals, one of the hottest teams in baseball, to move us in the right direction. Carlos Martinez yielded two runs over eight innings without a walk last week. Braves are at Busch. Twenty units on St. Louis.

Tale of two innings. Eduardo Rodriguez was cruising on a 3-0 lead before the Sox pen yielded five runs in the eighth inning. Yankees held on, 5-4. Pirates scored four unearned runs in the third inning and clipped the Jays 4-2. Two inning disaster has us at 518 yolandavegas.