The Serby Says Midseason Awards, right here, right now:
MVP — Carson Wentz (QB, Eagles): Of course the Browns haven’t solved their forever franchise quarterback problem because they decided to pass on drafting this kid. Who has Ben Roethlisberger’s size, Brett Favre’s gunslinger moxie and Marcus Mariota’s mobility. Dan Marino (48 touchdowns, 17 interceptions, 5,084 yards) took the Dolphins to Super Bowl XIX, where he ran into Joe Montana, in his second season. Wentz just might take the Eagles to their first Super Bowl championship, where he might run into Tom Brady, who idolized Joe Cool.
Offensive Player — Deshaun Watson (QB, Texans): His devastating torn ACL robs all of us of his precocious genius. He’ll take this award home with him after the first half, in which he overtook Kareem Hunt and Le’Veon Bell coach thanks to the instincts and swag of a rookie Michael Jordan. Dabo Swinney wasn’t kidding, was he? The magical phenom made the Browns, 49ers, Bears and Jets look mighty bad — not to mention the personnel evaluators who questioned his pocket skills and first-round worth. Alex Smith (Chiefs) is much more than a game manager (16 TDs, 0 INTs).
Defensive Players — Calais Campbell (DE, Jaguars) and Demarcus Lawrence (DE, Cowboys): Campbell already has a career-high 10 sacks, so flip a coin between him and Lawrence (10.5 sacks). Jalen Ramsey (Jaguars) is a shutdown corner.
Coach — Sean McVay (Rams): The 31-year-old quarterback whisperer has resurrected Jared Goff, not to mention RB Todd Gurley. A people-person football gym rat who communicates and connects well and is respected by players young and old. Yankees GM Brian Cashman is searching for the baseball McVay. Sean McDermott (Bills) has also enjoyed a stellar rookie season taking over for Rex Ryan, and instilling discipline and defense. Doug Pederson (Eagles) has presided over the rapid development of Wentz. Mike Zimmer (Vikings) has endured quarterback turmoil and eight eye surgeries and the loss of rookie RB Dalvin Cook to lead the NFC North with a defense no one wants to play against. Andy Reid (Chiefs) may win it in the end.
Offensive Rookie — Kareem Hunt (RB, Chiefs): No two-category winners are allowed, so Watson yields to this 763-yard rusher. RB Leonard Fournette (Jaguars) is the raging bull Tom Coughlin and Doug Marrone craved to protect Blake Bortles from himself.
Defensive Rookie — Marshon Lattimore (CB, Saints): Shutdown corner? He’s Pro Football Focus’ third-highest graded player in the league as opposing quarterbacks have a 33.3 passer rating against him. Defensive rookie of September Tre’Davious White (Bills) has become a No. 1 corner with Stephon Gilmore and Ronald Darby gone.
Comeback Player — Rob Gronkowski (TE, Patriots): He’s already exceeded his 2016 numbers (25 receptions, three TDs) over eight games with 34 receptions and five TDs in seven games. Which means this should be his fifth season with double-digit TDs. WR Keenan Allen (Chargers), who played only the 2016 opener (torn ACL) is also worthy (40-548-1) as he is on pace for career bests in yards (1,046) and receptions (77). OLB Justin Houston (Chiefs) is showing signs of dominance (7.5 sacks) again (22 sacks in 2014) after being sabotaged by knee issues the past two seasons.
MVPee — Odell Beckham Jr.’s infamous end-zone celebration that had John Mara rabid.
Best End-Zone Celebration — JuJu Smith-Schuster playing hide-and-seek with Le’Veon Bell.
Best Free-Agent Signing — Julius Peppers (DE, Panthers): A one-year, $3.5 million contract for a 37-year-old freak who has recorded 7.5 sacks. LT Andrew Whitworth’s three-year, $33.750,000 deal has paid dividends for the Rams. The Serbys forbid two-category winners (Campbell, five years, $60 million). Micah Hyde (five INTs) signed a five-year, $30.5 million deal with $14 million guaranteed with the Bills. QB Josh McCown (12 TDs, seven INTs) has been well worth his $6 million for 2017. RG T. J. Lang signed a three-year, $28.5 million deal with $19 million guaranteed with the Lions. ILB Zach Brown (Redskins) signed a one-year, $2.3 million contract with $700,000 guaranteed and has registered a league-leading 75 tackles.
Worst Free-Agent Signing — Mike Glennon (QB, Bears): He lasted four games (four TDs, five INTs, 1-3 record) after signing a three-year, $45 million deal ($18.5 million guaranteed) before coach John Fox turned to rookie Mitch Trubisky. WR Kenny Britt (10-128-1) signed a four-year, $32.5 million deal with $17 million guaranteed with the Browns. WR Terrelle Pryor (18-223-1) signed a one-year, $8 million deal with the Redskins. Adrian Peterson (27-81 rushing, 2-4 receiving) was traded to the Cardinals after signing a two-year, $7.5 million deal with a $2.5 million signing bonus with the Saints.
Overachiever (Teams) — Rams (5-2) and Bills (5-3).
Overachiever (Player) — Demario Davis (LB, Jets): Mike Maccagnan stole original Jet from Browns for malcontent safety Calvin Pryor. Davis (67 tackles, 2.5 sacks) has emerged as leader with David Harris gone. MLB Joe Schobert (Browns) is a second-year tackling machine (70). DE Cameron Jordan (Saints) anchors a revitalized defense (5.5 sacks) but is never mentioned with the elite pass rushers.
Underachiever (Team) — New York Football Giants: Blooper Bowl contender has GM Jerry Reese and coach Ben McAdoo on the firing line. The AFC Blooper Bowl representative is the 3-5 Raiders, Least Mode to say the least.
Underachiever (Player) — Martavis Bryant (WR, Steelers): Just 18 catches for 234 yards and one, and a distraction in his return from season-long drug suspension. QB Cam Newton (10 TDs, 11 INTs) has two TDs and six INTs in his past three games and fumbled away his Dannon yogurt endorsement. Amari Cooper has been M.I.A. except for his 11-210-2 explosion against the Chiefs.
Journeyman QB — Josh McCown (QB, Jets): What, you voted for Mike Glennon (Bears) or Brian Hoyer (49ers)? Case Keenum (Vikings) deserves consideration. But McCown is a dream bridge quarterback universally respected in the Atlantic Health Jets Training Center for his leadership and selflessness.
Best Catch — Kenny Stills (WR, Dolphins): Versus Jets, on his back.
Worst Call — Austin Seferian-Jenkins’ touchdown that wasn’t against the Patriots.
The Bavaro — Amari Cooper TD dragging Titans, Dez Bryant TD dragging Cardinals.
Executive — Rick Smith (Texans): He traded up with the Browns from 25 to 12 to draft Watson. Next question.
Best Game — Seahawks 41, Texans 38 (Week 8): Watson versus Russell Wilson.
Worst Game — 49ers at Colts (Week 5): A matchup so unappealing after further review that VP Mike Pence and his wife decided to walk out of Lucas Oil Stadium after the anthem.
Assistant Coach — Keith Butler (defensive coordinator, Steelers): A formidable Steel Curtain once again.
Humanitarian — J.J. Watt (DE, Texans): For his Hurricane Harvey heroics, and Chris Long, for donating 10 game checks to three charities.
Best Papa — Bob Papa
Worst Papa — George Papadopoulos. Runner-up: Papa John’s.
TV Rookie — Tony Romo: The Natural. Having Jim Nantz alongside him always helps, but Romo is entertaining and informative. He’s more polished as a rookie in the booth than he was as the daredevil QB Bill Parcells used to call Pancho Villa with the Cowboys.