Move over, Tinder and Match. Millennials are hooking up and even finding love on Instagram.
“It’s changed the way people communicate,” says Mary Beth Barone, a 26-year-old comedian based in the East Village, who says men often message her on the photo-sharing network. “There’s so much more access — you can see people’s lives so you automatically have something to talk about with them.”
Here, six ways 20- and 30-somethings are getting Insta-mate.
The thirst trap
Sabrina Zohar, who is 27 and the founder of clothing company Softwear, regularly posts photos of herself clad in lingerie, lounging around her swanky Williamsburg apartment. Male followers flood her with flirtatious comments, and that’s precisely one of her intentions with her “thirst traps” — pics meant to catch a love interest’s eye.
Last week, singer Demi Lovato was called out for trying to trap her prey, actor Henry Cavill, when she uploaded a sexy snap of herself in lingerie shortly after following Cavill’s account.
But there’s more to Instagram flirting than just scantily clad pics. Zohar adds an “authentic” caption about self-love and empowerment to let her audience know she’s genuine.
She recently uploaded a black-and-white photo of herself in a bodysuit, pantless, lying down on a shaggy rug with the caption: “Love yourself first, the rest will fall into place.”
Zohar, who’s single and has met a handful of first dates on Instagram, says such messages help her find the sort of men she’s looking for.
“If I wanna look for a mate that’s a bit more authentic, more real, more in touch with themselves, [the captions] will resonate with them so that they understand me more than, ‘She’s a sexy girl just posting a lingerie photo.’ There’s more depth to it.”
Baiting with a cute animal
Nothing catches the eye like an adorable pup. Danny Visconti, a 32-year-old television producer in the West Village, says the most alluring feature on his Instagram feed is his 11-month-old rescue lab mix, Clint.“I’ll usually get a lot of responses just being like, ‘Oh, my God, he’s so cute,’” says Visconti, who’s currently single but has been on a handful of dates with men he met on Instagram. “[I’ll say,] ‘Oh, you know you can come meet him anytime you like.’ And then a handful of times they do.”
The deep like
Going into the archives of someone’s profile and liking a weeks-old or months-old photo is a bold way to express romantic interest.
“This is the Instagram flirting equivalent of making a mixtape for your crush,” says Drew Wyman, a 29-year-old entrepreneur who met his girlfriend on the social network. “It’s obvious.”
Sliding into the DMs
Sending a flirty message to someone’s Instagram inbox has become a go-to move for many.
Dara Pollak, a food blogger whose @skinnypignyc account has 84,000 followers, says she’s been flooded with direct messages from men in response to her photos of decadent burgers and cheesy pastas.
“Guys tend to be courageous about what they say,” says Pollak, who notes that the best way to stand out is by being honest and straightforward while providing background on yourself.
For example, a guy recently messaged her: “I refuse to believe you eat all this and look as good as you do … but if you ever want to prove it, I’ll buy. Here’s my number.” Pollak was charmed, but says she’s currently not looking to meet anyone online.
Stand out with a ‘Story’
Zohar says that uploading Instagram Stories — temporary posts of videos or multiple photos that expire after 24 hours — can more effectively grab someone’s attention than a permanent post.
“It’s because of the algorithm,” Zohar says. “Not everybody sees my [permanent] posts, but with the live videos [it’s more certain] somebody will see it.”
Every time she uploads a Story of herself in her underwear, Zohar receives anywhere from “10 to 15” direct messages.
Zohar says: “It’s because people perceive I’m active [online] when I put a Story up.”
Tag your way to the ‘Explore’ tab
Instagram’s “Explore” tab, which shows a grid of photos from other strangers based on your network and interests, is also a meet market, according to kickboxing instructor Suki Komonaj, 28. She went on a date with a guy she found on the Explore page because he had similar interests in fitness and had some attractive workout pics.
“I’m always on that page,” says Komonaj, who’s based in The Bronx and is currently single. To attract fitness-minded guys to her page, she uses hashtags such as #fit, #boxing and #fitthick to get on like-minded (and like-bodied) men’s Explore tabs.
“I wanna target somebody who likes to be in the gym like me, owning a business and such,” Komonaj says.