Reaching the peak of his athletic career sent Nick Goepper to the depths of despair.
The skier, competing in his second Olympics after capturing a bronze medal in 2014 as part of an American sweep in the men’s slopestyle event, recalled the bouts of alcoholism and depression that consumed the years immediately after his success in Sochi. Coming down from the high of the podium and post-Olympics media obligations, Goepper turned to drinking and even contemplated suicide during periods of isolation.
“I started to really question myself and my motives, having these crazy existential questions like why am I doing this?” the 23-year-old said in an interview this week with USA Today. “What is the point?”
Without another competition to focus his energies or invitation to appear in public, Goepper experienced “deep drops,” especially during the summer after the Sochi Games. The turning point came when Goepper called his mother, Linda, from Utah and said he was on the verge of drinking a whole bottle of vodka by himself, she recalled recently.
The next fall, at the urging of his parents, Goepper entered a 60-day rehabilitation center in Texas, where he began to journal, became an avid reader and learned to prioritize what mattered most to him. He hasn’t had a drink since Sept. 26, 2015, days before he departed for rehab.
“I had a fantastic, life-changing experience,” Goepper said. “I just feel very fortunate that my family and my situation I was able to take advantage of that resource.
“It just familiarized myself with a really supportive community of people who had inflicted the same things upon them. I thought that was really uplifting and really cool to be able to talk about that.”
Feeling more self-assured on and off the slopes, Goepper was able to brush off a disappointing seventh-place finish in the slopestyle at last month’s X Games. Since the 2014 joyride, when Goepper and his teammates — gold medalist Joss Christensen and silver medalist Gus Kenworthy — appeared on talk shows, attended celebrity parties and had their images displayed on a cereal box, the Indiana native has learned to take successes and failures in stride.
“I think after the Olympic sweep, I got caught up a lot with the social media and some of the celebrity idea, like I’m a celebrity, I’m super cool, I can do whatever I want and just partying with my friends and whatnot,” Goepper said. “I think that initial high, that initial rush, it took me a while to sort of really process all that had happened during the whole Olympic cycle, and now I think I’m much better off because of that.”
Goepper still is shooting for gold when he finally gets into the starting gate in PyeongChang on Sunday, but he has a life to get back to after it all winds down.
“I’m gonna ski my best in Korea. It all comes down to one day, which is kind of crazy,” he said. “But I’ve just added more to my life now that I have to just to look forward to.”