This is wrong — any way you slice it.
A highly offensive photo of bagels, sliced as though they were loaves of bread, is spreading controversy across the internet.
The man behind this crumby outrage, Alek Krautmann, says the serving style is a St. Louis specialty and even claims, dubiously, that people love it.
“Today I introduced my coworkers to the St. Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced,” tweeted Krautmann, along with a picture of the abominable bagels from a Panera Bread in St. Louis.
“It was a hit,” he promised.
But over in New York, people were calling the sideways slicing a schmear campaign against a Big Apple classic.
“On behalf of the New York Delegation: St. Louis, fuhgeddaboudit,” quipped Senator Chuck Schumer.
The general manager of New York bagel staple Zabar’s for over 40 years, Scott, was also in complete shock.
“I just have to say… ‘Why?'” he told The post. “That’s bizarre… I’ve never seen it done and I don’t know the purpose of it. If someone asked for that, they’d be looked at like they were from another country.”
The bagel monstrosity also boiled the blood of everyone from NYPD Chief of Detective Dermot Shea to Councilman Justin Brannan.
“Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen,” Shea tweeted.
The hatched-up bagel job should be made a Class A Felony in the Big Apple, added Brannan.
Meanwhile, some people pointed out the connection between Panera’s history of Nazi ties — the company’s founding family had links to the Third Reich — and the way they’re willing to carve up bagels.
“This is anti-Semitism,” tweeted professional skier Gus Kenworthy.
Added the user @OhNoSheTwint: “I’m reporting you to my rabbi.”
Comedy Central writer @TimDuffy added, “This is duck food.”
When asked for comment, Panera claimed that “[bread] slicing bagels is a well-known secret in St. Louis,” and it even replied to Krautmann’s tweet by tweeting: “Hey Alek, next time bagels are on us, sliced however you’d like. 😉 Can you DM us?”
However, some St. Louis residents joined in on the outrage — promising they’d never treat the delicacy that way.
“I’m from St. Louis and I’ve never seen a carb treated so callously! How dare you sir!” tweeted @CIAspygirl.