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Sex & Relationships

‘Bride & Prejudice’ expert: What to do when your parents hate your fiancé

Blair Bathory, 28, “pretty much fell in love” with fiancé Chris Williams “the moment I met him.” She was ecstatic when he popped the question in 2018.

Her mother, Kelly Richardson, was not.

“I have a problem with Chris being part Asian,” Richardson, 58, says during the first episode of “Bride & Prejudice,” a new Lifetime reality show premiering Wednesday at 10 p.m.

Hosted by “Married at First Sight” relationship expert Pastor Cal, the show follows engaged couples in Atlanta whose families are struggling to accept their unions for all kinds of reasons, including age gaps and racial differences.

Although he was born and raised in Atlanta, Williams, a 31-year-old technical engineer, is half-Asian, with a parent from North Korea. It’s not an issue for Bathory, nor for her dad, who “gets along with Chris really well,” according to his daughter.

But it’s a dealbreaker for Richardson, who believes Williams’ racial background makes him a “communist.”

“It is a communist country,” Richardson, who lives in Miami but grew up in rural North Carolina, says on the show.

Pastor Calvin Roberson
Pastor Calvin RobersonLifetime

Bathory was shocked by her mom’s reaction.

“I had a lot of anxiety about it,” the horror-movie producer tells The Post. “My mother and I have always had a strained relationship . . . But I didn’t have any inkling that she felt the way she did about specifically North Koreans.”

Bathory remains determined to build a life with Williams — but because her family is small (her parents are divorced) and she’s an only child, she hopes to move forward with her marriage without cutting off contact with her mother. So she and Williams turned to Pastor Cal — real name: Calvin Roberson — for help. The relationship counselor, who helps couples navigate arranged marriages on “Married at First Sight” and also counsels couples at his private practice in Atlanta, says that racism is a particularly tricky minefield for couples.

“Race is a sensitive issue,” he tells The Post. “I’ve dealt with interracial couples where there were deep-seated biases. And some of them were conscious and some were unconscious . . . [Richardson] has a lot of preconceptions about what [Williams] is, and who he is, and what his history is.”

Willi Cohen and Cameron Heinen.
Willi Cohen and Cameron Heinen.Lifetime

In general, Roberson says, the best way to get a parent like Richardson to move forward is to help them get to know your partner, so they become more than just a stereotype in their mind. But your partner needs to be on board with the plan — and you both need to walk when it’s not working.

“When those opinions and biases start exhibiting themselves in violent behavior or abusive language or any of that, it may be time to cut ties,” says the pastor. “Or at least remove yourself until that parent can see, ‘This is much deeper for us, we actually love each other’ . . . Sometimes a separation is necessary for a parent to see that.”

Another tricky issue “Bride & Prejudice” explores is a difference of faith. Willi Cohen, 24, is Jewish, and her fiancé, Cameron Heinen, 28, is Christian. The couple lives with Cohen’s parents, who have recently made it clear that they want Jewish grandchildren.

“Religion is personal; those are value-based issues,” says Roberson. “It’s what people live their lives by. In this particular situation, Judaism is not just a religion, it’s also a culture. So you have this dual concern from Willi’s family: ‘He’s not only not a part of our religion, but the children won’t be raised in our culture.’ That’s a very deep and grave situation, and it takes a lot to change that.”

With everything from religious ceremonies to holiday traditions on the line, he says, couples need to take care to have lots of serious conversations with each other so they can be on the same page when they are talking to their respective parents.

Then there’s 27-year-old Kiandria Demone and 23-year-old Kareem Allen. Even though four years seems like a small age gap, Demone has a 6-year-old son from a previous relationship, and her mom is skeptical that Allen can take care of them.

Kareem Allen and Kiandria Demone.
Kareem Allen and Kiandria Demone.Lifetime

“It comes down to an issue of maturity,” says Roberson. “I’ve heard it said many times that age is nothing but a number. In some respects it’s true, but when maturity is not present, age is more than a number.”

Of the three situations, he’s the most optimistic about this one.

“My sister got married to a man 16 years older when she was just outside of high school. It was unheard of. It was a serious issue. But when we saw how gentle and kind and what an asset he was to my sister, we accepted him and they had a very successful relationship.”

Although each situation is different and there’s no magic formula, Pastor Cal says the bottom line is that kids need to talk to their parents honestly to get them “to look through a different lens.”

Although you’ll have to watch the show to see how things work out for Bathory and her beau, she says opening up the lines of communication has changed her approach to serious family feuds.

“The way I’ve addressed pretty much every issue in my life was to kind of ignore that, even if that’s embarrassing to say,” she says. “[Conflict has] been hard for me in the past.

“Ultimately, what matters is that people are forgiving and communicate and have an open mind.”