Get ‘kinky’ with our graphic COVID sex orgy guide: NYC Health Department
The New York City Department of Health encourages you to get kinky this summer.
In the latest update to the city’s notoriously graphic guidelines for safer sex during the COVID-19 pandemic, the agency is urging residents to get creative but “play safer” — especially by getting vaccinated before engaging in what some have dubbed the “slutty summer” of 2021.
“Make it kinky,” they suggest. “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact.” (Yes, they appear to be talking about a “glory hole” here.) And why not DIY? they ask, by recommending synchronized masturbation instead.
Safer sex may not seem all that sexy, but the NYCDOH aims to inspire. New Yorkers should actually “avoid sex parties,” they write — but for those who “insist” on getting their groove fully back this summer, the city explains that it’s imperative to get jabbed before you attend “get-togethers with large groups; have group sex, multiple sex partners or sex with people you do not know.”
And by all means, “pick larger, more open and well-ventilated spaces” for orgy action. Furthermore, those who are vaccinated but symptomatic of illness should also “avoid having sex and close contact with others” until after a quarantine period.
But wait — the new guidelines revert to raunch in short order.
Last March, NYCDOH released its first set of guidelines around sex during a global pandemic — then encouraging citizens to avoid group sex altogether as many epidemiological aspects of the novel coronavirus were still being discovered.
Now, more than a year later, they are still trying to make that “virtual hookups” thing happen: “Video dates, sexting, sexy Zoom parties or chat rooms” are fine options, the agency hypes in its 2021 guidelines.
However, the city has updated protocol regarding its infamous “war on rim jobs.”
“Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth,” the city originally warned in the graphic 2020 section titled, “Take care during sex.”
In 2021, they declare “the risk of spreading the virus through feces (poop) is thought to be low, though the virus has been found in the feces of people who have COVID-19. Research is needed to know if the virus can spread through sexual activities involving oral contact with feces (such as rimming).”
If engaging in oral butt stuff, the city advises “using condoms and dental dams to reduce contact with saliva, semen or feces during oral or anal sex or rimming.”
Meanwhile, the city’s tune has gotten a bit more upbeat as many New Yorkers are now well primed to engage. Data shows that 52% of its residents are already fully vaccinated, and 71% of all adults have received at least one dose.
New recommendations suggest that any worthwhile orgy should hope to achieve a number of prophylactic measures against the spread of COVID-19, such as wearing a face mask during the event and to “avoid kissing” as the disease is known to spread via respiratory droplets. Currently, there is no evidence that COVID-19 can be transmitted through sex, according to health officials. They also recommend choosing a “larger” group sex venue with “more open and well ventilated spaces” — which means absolutely no sex in the Champagne room.
Finally, they remind New York’s sexiest to wash up and use disinfecting sanitizer before and after your carnal carnival.
Meanwhile, the DOH’s advice comes at a time when sexually transmitted diseases are at an all-time high for the sixth year in a row, according to a recent news release by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — so all those who are sexually active would be well advised to heed any and all public health recommendations against COVID-19 and otherwise.
