Come Aug. 12 there will be dancing at the Battery. Wagner Park. In-person and livestream. The Netherlands choreography will depict freedom. Mexico, solitude. Puerto Rico, imagination. South Korea, the Lindy Hop. Paraguay, bike riding. Australia, nature. China, fishing. Switzerland, refuge. Israel, togetherness.
And besides burgers, every weekend Bond 45 now also serves up burlesque. The show is “Speakeasy: Times Square.” Even Marilu Henner jumped from her seat to shake her seat as pros shook their seats onstage.
And in other parts of the tri-state? Opinions? They got em.
My just-received fan letters. John writes: “Your political views — kissing the ass of the monster who lost the election — ought to be shared only with people who feed you and take you to the toilet.”
One named Sanders loves me and writes how, through me, “a good time is had by all.”
Ruth from Princeton: “I must write and tell you thanks, for making me laugh, making me cry, and I just marvel how you’re able to keep me captive for so many years.”
Enclosing a clip of Mrs. Biden in tights, Joan from Queens Village: “You are disrespectful. Your article about Prince Harry wearing short socks is stupid. Picky. However, I still glance at your sometimes rancid articles anyway.”
Anita from The Bronx: “I appreciate your column for the humor. You hand me a laugh (or three) with every column. Thanks.”
Marcia from Sunnyside: “I love your column. I look forward to it. And when you are off for a few days, the paper is not the same.”
Trender bender
October’s Town & Country pees on fashion. Like a guy in a dirty T-shirt, $2,000 sneakers and pants with a crotch that grazes the ground. Boobs and behinds now further out than a car front, plus hairpieces bushier than what’s inside their drawers. Men in earrings, bracelets, necklaces, skirts. Women in trousers?!
Knights & dame
And how about some good old-fashioned gender roles? This film divided the assignments.
Matt Damon said: “Ben Affleck, Nicole Holofcener and I co-wrote a movie called ‘The Last Duel.’ A historical drama about betrayal and vengeance. It comes out Oct. 15. The story takes place in medieval Europe and is a true tale we found in a history book. It’s about the last duel in the old days of France. Two knights fight to the death because one claimed the other raped his wife.
“It’s not like one of those great Liam Neeson stories where he’ll kill everybody. This, as we saw it, is a story of perspective. Ben and I wrote the male side, she wrote the female side. Ridley Scott directed. It’s really good. Writing and producing is what I want to keep doing.”
Some friendly advice
Donald: 1) Avoid Michael Flynn and the outer fringe groups.
2) Keep low until mid-October.
3) Do not contest good Republicans in primaries; back only those you know will win.
4) Stay clear of the five G’s: Gosar, Gohmert, Gaetz, Greene, Giuliani, who populate the GOP.
5) Forget Hunter Biden because you can’t talk that story without mentioning Giuliani or inviting comparisons.
DJT will continue amassing big money ($75 mil already). Plus he’ll let the GOP swing without declaring his candidacy. If they pick up the House and Senate, Donald’s the political go-to guy and, because big donors are dropping like flies, the Republican candidates will have to court him. If the GOP doesn’t take the House, there’s always Newsmax.
The employee, a cousin, was caught stealing. Firing him, the boss said: “I’m not putting you in jail. It would upset the family. And it would also hurt our firm.” The employee replied: “I admit I robbed from you — but I now have a big home, two cars and a golf club membership. I don’t need anything anymore. So why hire somebody else and have him start at the beginning?”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.