The Stone Age was all about the discovery of tools — but this horny chimp is entering the Bone Age by discovering sex toys.
In what may be a first for the species, a chimpanzee from Bulindi, Uganda, was observed masturbating with a man-made “sex toy”: a discarded plastic bottle. One can surely imagine how that might aid a male chimp without going into great detail — but if you’re wondering if that’s a banana in there, think again.
Published online earlier this month, the report follows chimp Araali, who was first spotted with the enticing container in August 2018, as witnesses saw him “thrusting” his penis into the bottle opening.
Much like humans, male apes are more apt to masturbate during times of stress, or when they’re unable to find a mate to help them relieve their libidinal longing — if you will. They’re also known to forage for paraphernalia to assist with self-pleasure, such as leaves, fruit and other organic objects.
Araali’s romp, however, is one of the few wild chimps observed to be engaging in the act purely to seek “pleasure” or “fun,” according to Bulindi researchers Matthew McLennan and Kim van Dijk — and more advanced than the typical “fumbling” with genitalia that’s seen in most chimps.
Discouragingly, it’s also the first case of a wild ape using human refuse for sex. This indicates the animals are being increasingly exposed to plastic pollution, familiarizing themselves with trash and integrating it into their activities.
Their research organization shared the results of their work with followers on social media.
“So, here’s a paper I never thought we’d write: ‘Use of a novel human object as a masturbatory tool by a wild male chimpanzee at Bulindi, Uganda,’ ” they tweeted.
Araali — a “subadult male,” meaning not an alpha — belongs to a group of more than a dozen chimps male and female, though his behavior stood out.
“For 25 seconds he made pelvic thrusting movements into the bottle, which he had positioned flat on the ground in front of him,” the paper reads.
“At times he showed a relaxed open-mouth expression or a ‘play face,’ ” they wrote, indicating he was having a good time with the bottle, believed to have held herbicide and been discarded by a local farmer. And when he lost his groove, researchers said he “‘reinserted his penis” and resumed his gyrating.
“For the remaining 8 seconds of the recording, Araali sat with a play face, apparently with his penis still inside the bottle,” they said, noting that he did not appear to finish what he started.
The saucy simian’s interest in masturbation was different from other chimps as he wouldn’t have necessarily been cut off from access to eligible females. Rather, it was his urge to “inspect and play with” the novel object that may have aroused him.
“The physical properties of the open bottle presumably elicited Araali’s autoerotic response, suggesting he recognized its suitability for that purpose,” researchers said.
McLennan and van Dijk’s “unusual observation,” they wrote, “raises questions about the function of masturbation” and “contributes to an understanding of the range in behavioral responses” in apes.
Araali’s not the only ape raising questions. Earlier this week, guests at New York’s Bronx Zoo had front-row access to an X-rated cavort between a passionate pair of gorillas, caught performing oral sex on a female.
While the Bronx Zoo had no comment for The Post, one zoo-goer was determined to capture the gorillas on camera — initially, to share the moment with his then-sleeping young son. That is until the scene devolved into a very graphic documentary on non-reproductive sexual behavior.
“I was shocked and had no idea that was a ‘natural’ act,” he said.
