I’m a self-confessed narcissist who cheated on my wife for 8 years – here are the signs you’re dating one
A self-confessed narcissist has revealed the signs that you could be dating someone like him.
Ben Taylor, from Chesapeake, Virginia, now educates others about the personality disorder on his TikTok accounts (@rawmotivations and @bentaylor300), where he has more than 30,000 followers, alongside his full-time job.
The 33-year-old admits he gaslit his exes and cheated on his wife for eight years, before realizing he was a narcissist.
Here he tells Fabulous his story:
Throughout my life, I have always felt like there was something different with me — how I handled emotions, the ways I connected with people and the lack of empathy I felt.
Growing up, I found I was always in relationships, starting another as soon as one ended — or even before it had.
In August 2013, I got married and hoped these habits would change now I was somebody’s husband. But they did not.
After the first year of marriage, I found myself in an affair — cheating with multiple women over the next eight years.
During those years, my wife experienced the worst of me as I would gaslight her (make her feel crazy for the truth), manipulate, lie and cheat, all while maintaining a good and prestigious image at work.
As our relationship crumbled, my lies started unraveling, leading me to question who I was and why I was acting this way.
At first, I thought it might be a curse, something I was destined to repeat. Other times I would blame myself for acting in a way I now realize was beyond my control.
One day, while talking to my wife and in a rare moment of vulnerability, I said, “Maybe I am a sociopath or something.” We talked about it, Googled the definition and she said maybe I was narcissistic.
I became defensive, insisting I was not a narcissist. But I was curious and over the next couple of weeks, I started discussing it with the women I was having affairs with. They too insisted I was not a narcissist, so I continued to gaslight my wife and deny it.
But as much as I denied it, deep down I realized I was a narcissist. I still didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t even want to believe it, but the facts were staring me in the face every time I read another personality attribute.
I realized how I always went for what I desired, regardless of anyone else’s thoughts, opinions or feelings.
I grew up in a religious family and had always struggled with certain aspects of it because of my narcissism — the idea I should love God more than myself, not have pride and be a better person.
All the advice I received didn’t help me, because I couldn’t admit the lies I was telling every day. Lies that separated me from my wife, disconnected me from my inner being and who I really was and lies I told myself about God and my faith.
With time, the help of close friends and a support group called Wake Up Warrior, I was finally able to break the surface of the façade and the lies that held me captive.
My wife stuck by me and, with her support, I’ve managed to become a better husband. We even have a 2-year-old daughter together.
It’s an everyday battle but one I fight because I want to be better. I want to grow. I don’t want to go back to the life that I lived, hurting others the way I did.
My goal now is to raise awareness of narcissism. To help people know and understand that it is real, it is valid, and it is vital to know how to deal with it. I try to help others like me see it is possible to change and grow into better people.
I want to offer closure and healing to those who have dated narcissists, and never got the answers they were after in the relationship.
But I also want to change how people see narcissism and show the importance of getting people into therapy.
If you want to know more, you can interact with me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook under the name Raw Motivations or visit my new site Raw Motivations to schedule a time to speak with me one-on-one.
This story originally appeared on the Sun and has been reproduced here with permission.