Former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst penned heartbreaking essay in 2021
Former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst penned a heart-rending essay last year reflecting on the pressures of getting older, the need to achieve – and her battle with online trolls who bullied her over her looks.
Kryst, 30, who tragically jumped to her death from her Midtown high-rise Sunday morning, wrote candidly in an essay for Allure about overcoming the crushing expectations she once placed on herself after she “nearly worked myself to death.
“I discovered that the world’s most important question, especially when asked repeatedly and answered frankly, is: why?,” Kryst wrote of her change in thinking.
“Why work so hard to capture the dreams I’ve been taught by society to want when I continue to only find emptiness?”
Kryst was 28 when she won the 2019 Miss USA pageant, becoming the oldest winner in the contest’s history, “a designation even the sparkling $200,000 pearl and diamond Mikimoto crown could barely brighten for some diehard pageant fans who immediately began to petition for the age limit to be lowered,” she noted.
“A grinning, crinkly-eyed glance at my achievements thus far makes me giddy about laying the groundwork for more, but turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I’m running out of time to matter in society’s eyes — and it’s infuriating,” she wrote.
Kryst, a lawyer and The ExtraTV reporter, noted that she won her title with a “five-foot-six frame with six-pack abs” and a “head of natural curls,” while “pageant girls are supposed to be model-tall and slender, don bouffant hair, and have a killer walk.
“My challenge of the status quo certainly caught the attention of the trolls, and I can’t tell you how many times I have deleted comments on my social media pages that had vomit emojis and insults telling me I wasn’t pretty enough to be Miss USA or that my muscular build was actually a ‘man body,’ ” she wrote.
“And that was just my looks. My opinions, on the other hand, were enough to make a traditional pageant fan clutch their pearls,” Kryst added.
The lengthy March 2021 essay provided insight into the mindset of Kryst, who posted a cryptic message on her Instagram page before she jumped, writing, “May this day bring you rest and peace.”
The ex-Miss North Carolina left behind a note saying only that she wanted to bestow everything to her mother, a former pageant competitor herself who was crowned Mrs. North Carolina in 2002, according to sources.
Kryst went on in her Allure piece to say that “after a year like 2020, you would think we’d learned that growing old is a treasure and maturity is a gift not everyone gets to enjoy.
“Far too many of us allow ourselves to be measured by a standard that some sternly refuse to challenge and others simply acquiesce to because fitting in and going with the flow is easier than rowing against the current,” Kryst continued.
“Each time I say ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little,” she wrote. “Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting.
“Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women. (Occasional exceptions are made for some of the rich and a few of the famous.).
“I fought this fight before and it’s the battle I’m currently fighting with 30,” she wrote. “How do I shake society’s unwavering norms when I’m facing the relentless tick of time? It’s the age-old question: What happens when ‘immovable’ meets ‘unstoppable?’”
Kryst cited her impressive academic achievements — notably earning a law degree and an MBA at the same time at Wake Forest University after her undergraduate studies at the University of South Carolina, where she was a track athlete.
“I joined a trial team at school and won a national championship. I competed in moot court; won essay competitions; and earned local, regional, and national executive board positions,” Kryst wrote.
“I nearly worked myself to death, literally, until an eight-day stint in a local hospital sparked the development of a new perspective,” she said.
As for her less-than-conventional views, Kryst wrote, “Women who compete in pageants are supposed to have a middle-of-the-road opinion — if any — so as not to offend.
“I talked candidly about my views on the legalization of marijuana, the Trump Administration’s immigration policies, anti-abortion laws, the confirmation of Justice Amy Coney Barrett, and the successes and failures of criminal justice reform.”
Kryst ended her contemplative essay by saying she marked her milestone birthday in her apartment, “parading around in a black silk top, matching shorts, and a floor-length robe while scarfing down banana pudding and screening birthday calls.
“I even wore my crown around the apartment for most of the day knowing I’d have to give it back at the end of my reign as Miss USA. I did what I wanted rather than the expected,” she wrote.
“Now, I now enter year 30 searching for joy and purpose on my own terms — and that feels like my own sweet victory,” Kryst said.
