The best line I ever heard about the Olympics came from a guy who had been in on New York’s pursuit of the 2012 Summer Games from the start. When the bid finally failed in July 2005, when London was named the host city for those Games of the XXX Olympiad, I called to offer condolences.
“From now on they should just hold Olympics negotiations in a confessional,” he said. “This way everyone can kill two birds with one stone. One-stop shopping.”
Which brings us, directly, to 2022 and a new set of Olympics, these in China, and the news Wednesday that Russian skater Kamila Valieva, who had electrified the first few days of the Games by helping her team win the team competition by twice landing a “quad jump” — the first time this had ever been done at the Olympics — had possibly failed a drug test.
And as figure skating as an Olympic event actually predates the advent of the Winter Games — it was a part of both the 1908 and 1920 Summer Games before becoming a permanent part of the quadrennial winter gatherings beginning in Chamonix, France, in 1924 — this was history in real time that the world was watching.
Until history took a header into a brick wall Wednesday.
The medal ceremony for the winners was delayed, and it was later reported that this was because Valieva is believed to have failed a test issued before the team competition.
Now, at first blush this is shocking, and for two simple reasons:
1. In most peoples’ heart of hearts, the Olympics is still about sport first, and when you see something you’ve never seen before — which is the only way to describe Valieva’s performance — you want to believe, very much, that what you’ve seen is on the level.
2. Kamila Valieva is 15 years old.
Of course, if you’ve been around the Olympics long enough, first blush wears off in about the time it usually takes to differentiate between gold and silver in the downhill ski event — four years ago that amounted to 12/100 of a second.
For starters: Valieva is Russian, and represents the Russian Olympic Committee, but is not, technically, representing Russia. That’s because of its rich and colorful history as a country lousy with drug cheats. In a stunning move, the IOC in 2019 banned Russia from competing in these Games — but did allow that qualifying athletes can compete, presenting themselves as “neutral.” They cannot use the Russian name, flag, or anthem.
Hence, the ROC.
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Then, of course, there is the issue of where these Games are being held, in Beijing, which either fails to check the box “commits regular human rights violations” whenever filling out its application form to host the Olympics or has a hell of a story to tell otherwise.
(I covered the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing for The Post. There are two images forever etched in my memory: how many men with machine guns were prowling the grounds at the venues and the villages. And how so many of the locals, all working voluntarily, were so quick to offer smiles and friendly greetings — smiles and friendly greetings that instantly vanished whenever the men with machine guns turned a scowling eye in their direction.)
Honestly, it wasn’t a question of if there would be controversy at these Games, it was when the first mudball would splash into the punch bowl. And here we are. We await the findings of the International Testing Agency, but in the world of PEDs, almost every time, where there is smoke there is fire.
The individual skating competitions begin next week. In any other country but China, perhaps they could hold them inside a confessional. One-stop shopping, after all.