For the last few Passover holidays, Talia Liben Yarmush has heard about Christians holding seders, the elaborate ritual meals that Jews partake in during the first two nights of Passover to celebrate ancient Jews’ freedom from slavery in Egypt. And it’s making her mad.
“It angered and upset me every time I saw a ‘seder’ post in which the shank bone represented Jesus [it’s meant to represent the sacrificial lamb], or the afikoman” — a piece of matzah hidden to keep children engaged — “represented the resurrection,” she told The Post.
So before this Passover holiday, which begins Friday, Yarmush, a social media strategist and writer, took to Facebook to post her own pre-emptive strike:
Dear Christian Friends,
Please, please don’t have your own “seders.”
Passover is one of the most important Jewish holidays, commemorating, among other things, the foundation of our peoplehood. We are a people who have been persecuted time and again, and on Passover, we remember how God redeemed us from slavery, how God gave us the Torah, and how we became both a nation and a religion.
I’d like to remind you that Christians have a history of murdering Jews on Passover in retribution for the false accusation of using the blood of Christian babies to make our matzah — a horrific blood libel that some still believe in today….
Please don’t do it.
You have your own holidays. You have rich and beautiful traditions. I promise to respect them.
Please reciprocate.
(Now, if you are invited to join a Passover seder by a Jewish friend, that’s an entirely different story. Go, enjoy, ask questions.)
Many thanks from your neighborhood Jew.”
Her post was shared over 1,000 times and garnered hundreds of comments, with Jews calling Christians co-opting seder as “cultural appropriation” and a “creepy absurdity.” One commenter claimed to have seen a church flyer for a Christian seder featuring a table with a ham on it. (Ham is forbidden forJews.)
Novelist Judy Mollen Walters, who wrote “The Lies You Want to Hear,” told The Post that she had a Christian friend who insisted on making a Passover Seder every year.
“I had frustrating conversations with her several times about it, and it made me feel like I didn’t want to be friends with her,” she said. “It bothered me because it’s a misappropriation of Jewish culture and religion and she refused to even try to look at it that way.”
They are no longer friends.
Mainstream Christians’ interest in seders is growing, said Grace Ruiter, the digital content coordinator for the Reformed Church in America, a Protestant organization with several hundred member churches.
“I think it appeals to people because it is a way to honor and understand the Jewish faith and look at how that can deepen your understanding of the Christian faith. The centering of a meal and storytelling as a family is really lovely,” she told The Post.
Some Protestants claim it is a unique tradition, like Maundy Thursday, a meal celebrating the Last Supper (which some mistakenly believe was actually a Passover seder).
In 2020, looking to help people connect during the pandemic Ruiter co-wrote a blog post on the church’s web site, titled What Can the Seder Supper Teach Us about the Lord’s Supper? which includes advice such as “Try using the Seder storytelling approach to teach children about Communion. Gather with your family for a feast featuring bread and grape juice and use the Seder supper format to retell the story of the Last Supper.”
And there are Jews who defend the practice, saying that they celebrate Christmas and have “Chanukah bushes.” But with many, Christians hosting seders has touched a nerve.
Ruiter said she does worry about the line between admiration and appropriation. When she does it at home, “I hesitate to call it a ‘seder’ but instead say it’s ‘based on the seder experience.’ I’m trying to incorporate parts of a seder rather than adopt it,” she said. “This is not something we can own. It’s a Jewish thing. It’s something we can learn from and appreciate and respect.”
Others have been forced into a change of heart.
Tara Ziegmont, author of FeelsLikeHomeBlog.com (“Christian inspiration and family fun”) was chastised last year for her 2015 post, titled How to Have a Christian Passover Meal with Children (Even Little Ones!).
“I thought it was a beautiful expression and observance of our shared heritage with the Jewish faith — the liberation of the Jews from slavery in Egypt,” she wrote in the introduction of the now-amended post. Because last year she “came under fire from a small group of very vocal Jews who felt my Christian Passover was deeply upsetting. They stalked me on Twitter and left hateful comments here…”
Now, she writes, “If you do decide to do a seder, stick to the holy and time honored traditions and don’t try to make it about Jesus.” (Asked to comment for this story, Ziegmont referred the reporter to her blog.)
Rabbi Avi Shafran, public affairs director for Agudath Israel of America, has another suggestion for Christians who want to adopt Jewish practices.
“If non-Jews of good will wish to ‘borrow’ things from Judaism, they should consider less charged practices, like shunning lashon hora [negative speech about others], or praying thrice daily to God, or offering Him thanks before and after eating anything,” he told The Post.
Or, he suggested, “consider creating a ritual to confront and reject the anti-Semitism that infected much of the Christian world in the past.”
