Ashley Judd is opening up about discovering her mother Naomi after her suicide in April.
Judd, 54, described “the most shattering day of [her] life” in a personal essay in the New York Times, recalling finding her mother still alive and holding her.
“The trauma of discovering and then holding her laboring body haunts my nights,” Judd wrote.
While all Judd wanted to do was comfort her mom, law enforcement officers began interviewing her and kept her away from Naomi during the last moments of her life, leaving her feeling “cornered and powerless.”
“I wanted to be comforting her, telling her how she was about to see her daddy and younger brother as she ‘went away home,’ as we say in Appalachia,” Judd said. “Instead, without it being indicated I had any choices about when, where and how to participate, I began a series of interviews that felt mandatory and imposed on me that drew me away from the precious end of my mother’s life.”
Judd felt as though the officers were making her out to be a “possible suspect” just moments after she found her mother’s body.
“The men who were present left us feeling stripped of any sensitive boundary, interrogated and, in my case, as if I was a possible suspect in my mother’s suicide,” she recalled.
Naomi died by suicide at 76 years old from a self-inflicted gun wound on April 30 after years of struggling with mental illness.
In the months since Naomi’s passing, many details of her death have been released to the public, including videos, images and family interviews, and Judd is now fighting to get her family privacy.
“I don’t know that we’ll be able to get the privacy we deserve…I do know that we’re not alone,” Judd said in her essay. “We feel deep compassion for Vanessa Bryant and all families that have had to endure the anguish of a leaked or legal public release of the most intimate, raw details surrounding a death.”
While Judd acknowledged that there is a need for law enforcement to investigate, she believes there’s no way to justify the release of certain materials.
“Not only does making such material public do irreparable harm to the family; it can act as a contagion among a population vulnerable to self-harm,” she said.
“When we are allowed time to process trauma and heal and to disclose its causes at our discretion, we can become effective public advocates. But people should never have to share their wounds with the public before they are ready — if ever,” she added.
An autopsy report from the Nashville medical examiner’s office said Naomi had a medical history of struggling with “significant” anxiety, as well as depression, bipolar disorder, chronic idiopathic pneumonitis, hepatitis C, hypertension and hypothyroidism.
“Naomi lost a long battle against an unrelenting foe that in the end was too powerful to be defeated. I could not help her. I can, however, do something about how she is remembered,” Judd wrote.
“She should be remembered for how she lived, which was with goofy humor, glory onstage and unfailing kindness off it — not for the private details of how she suffered when she died.”
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling.
If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
