I never split the bill on dates – women can learn from gold diggers
She’s putting all her cards on the table — except one.
A New York-based influencer doesn’t care that she’s been branded a gold digger because she believes that men should always foot the bill when it comes to dating — as a matter of “dignity.”
Influencer Ella Freimann, 24, said that she would never go Dutch on a date, believing any man who would suggest such an arrangement isn’t serious about his role in the potential relationship.
“By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50% of the man he’s not,” Freimann told NeedToKnow.co.uk. “I’ve learned that men who split the bill don’t value the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.”
“Plus ’50/50 [%] men’ don’t understand that the woman’s investment was made prior to the date,” the self-confident singleton continued. “By not agreeing to split the bill the woman keeps her dignity intact and avoids bad experiences with men.”
Friemann attributes her dating philosophy to her family and the way that she grew up.
“I was fortunate enough to grow up with both of my parents so I had a clear example of how gender roles build the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting relationship,” explained Freimann. “I grew up with a providing father and a nurturing mother who had the luxury of raising her children and being a stay-home mother.”
The influencer — who posts dating advice on her TikTok and boasts an impressive 19,000 followers — said that her dating rules often get her labeled as a “gold digger.”
Friemann, who is currently in a relationship, says the term isn’t a compliment, per se. Rather, it says she is a woman who won’t settle for any man who doesn’t respect her.
“The term ‘gold digger’ refers to a woman that’s money-hungry,” said Friemann. “However, the term has been thrown around to every woman that decides to raise her standards in dating and expects her partner to be financially stable and to provide for her.”
“Sadly, there’re a lot of men who are frustrated with their lives, they are not financially stable, and that makes them deeply insecure,” added the dating coach. “Also, I feel like women should learn a few things from gold diggers, they always ask for what they want.”
Friemann drove the point home by asking: if men have no issue asking for intimacy or submissiveness from women then why should they have issues about women asking for their own needs to be met?
For Friemann, it’s not just about the man paying for the date, but also about the type of date the man takes you on.
“Coffee dates are disrespectful to women and a waste of time,” stated Friemann. “It says a lot about a man’s intentions with that woman.”
“A man that proposes a coffee date doesn’t perceive you as worthy of his time and effort, and probably is diversifying his money so he can date as many women as he can with the minimum effort,” continued online beauty.
The dating and lifestyle coach also revealed that she has come under fire several times for her videos but maintains that there are several misconceptions about women who just want a decent man.
“Most people think that we’re selfish, but I don’t think that’s the truth,” said Friemann “A high-value woman knows what she brings to the table and expects the same in return.”
“Another assumption is [that] we don’t work or we’re lazy, but a woman with high standards in dating always makes sure that the man is able to provide for both, in case she doesn’t want to work,” continued the influencer. “I’ve seen women building their businesses and focusing on themselves while being provided for by a man.”
For proof, Freimann points naysayers to look at her life as well as her clients that she helped “turn their l dating life” around.
“I helped a girl who had a past of dating broke men who did nothing for her and she confessed to me that she was tired of splitting the bill, getting disrespected, and being cheated on,” recalled Freimann. “After I coached her, she was able to build her self-esteem and gain confidence in herself.”
“Now she’s in a stable relationship where she is fully provided for and her boyfriend founded her successful business,” added Freimann.
Another one of her clients worked as a financial advisor but struggled to be taken seriously by her male coworkers.
“She works in a place full of rich men and millionaires but struggled to get the right attention and to be approached by men who took her seriously,” recalled Freimann. “Through various sessions of coaching, she was able to feel comfortable in her femininity and setting boundaries, which led her to have a pool of men ready to court her and pursue her for a serious relationship.”
