Patriots are rolling eyes
My own genteel wonderfulness prevents suggesting America’s members of the House waterboard its former chairman of — pardon the expression — the Intelligence Committee.
I — a devoted USA patriot — mention only possibly plausibly perchance if mayhap the aptly named Adam Schiff might be dumped overboard.
We seated indicted Santos in Congress. We promoted Schiff who knows only nine Commandments. Nothing about untruthfulness. Schiff, making laws in USA’s highest echelons while abusing his power to pursue Trump? And how about thou shalt not screw thy country — like maybe Hunter & Co. maybe?
More witnesses in Operation Donald will lurch forward. Such quickness is for encouraging a plea deal to avoid conviction.
George Washington’s “Farewell Address” (written by Hamilton) distrusted political parties. He felt partisanship a “potent engine . . . to subvert the power of the people.” And that parties might encourage the populace “to seek security in the absolute power of an individual” who’d use it “to the purposes of his own elevation.”
He feared the “spirits of revenge” to punish those who lost the election.
This, done in “different ages and countries” led to “a permanent despotism.” George had more on his mind than Martha.
Food for thought
More. Comes now an East Hampton food pantry July 12.
“No one in the Hamptons should be hungry,” says Hampton/Montauk publisher Kirby Marcantonio organizing a beach food benefit. Nearby is Tisch worth $1.7 billion, Koch whose estate was $57 billion, Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s $26 mil shack, DeNiro, Seinfeld, Spielberg, Gwyneth, Kravis, Diddy, Calvin worth a shriveled $700 mil, Anderson Cooper, Brooke Shields, Robert Downey, Neil Patrick Harris, Ken Griffin, Sarah Jessica.
Pantry supporters include Paul McCartney, Paul Simon, Edie Brickell, Billy Joel, Wainwright, Ina Garten. Ken Griffin — however, laid out $238 mil for an apartment, so he may send regrets.
BUT if you’re itchy for something to do out there and you’re a cheapo, hit Sag Harbor’s Bay Street Theater. Mamie Gummer, Meryl Streep’s kid, is in “Dial M for Murder” till July 23.
Tapped out
An endless eastward schlep — just four more minutes this side of Paris — is Montauk. Such sliver of soil contains eatery Duryea’s now charging patrons for water. Not from a bottle. Not designer liquid. The faucet’s usual H2O stuff. Crap tap water. You want water? They go to the sink and charge $5 for it. Next it’ll be $3.50 for a pee.
Some love lost
Romance has pffft. Something called Cloudwards surveyed global movie genres. Top drama watchers: UK and US. For Cyprus or Egypt it’s action. France and Germany, comedies. Crime films for Morocco, South Korea. Sci-fi for Spain and Singapore. Shoot ’em up Westerns: Canada. Like crabgrass, rom-coms are everywhere. But Moon/June/romance? Fuhgeddaboutit.
So this teenager walks into the bar. Says, “Pour me a cold one.” Bartender answers, “Get lost kid. You want to get me into trouble?” The boy answers: “Maybe later. Right now all I want is a beer.”
Only in the Hamptons, kids, only in the Hamptons.