Kilt-wearing shopper seen stuffing antiques up his butt and then placing them back on shelves
Real men may wear kilts – but they normally don’t stuff antiques up their butts.
A kilt-wearing shopper was caught on video perusing the aisles of a Texas antique store — then sticking numerous items where the sun don’t shine.
The burly shopper, later identified as Mitchell Vest, 60, was seen sticking items “in his rectum” — then returning them to the shelves of the Antique Gallery in Spring, according to cops.
“I had to watch it a couple of times to be sure I knew what I was looking at,” gallery owner Susan Golden Fox 26 reported.
“I’ve seen quite a few things here — but not that,” she said.
“I just didn’t know what to say or think,” she also told KPRC.
Vest was charged with criminal mischief and initially held on $100 bond, the Harris County Constable’s Office said.
Among the items he allegedly inserted into his butt were a makeup brush, a “Restoration Hardware piece,” an antique bottle opener and a “tobacco tent can,” according to a probable cause affidavit cited by Law&Crime.
“The male was then observed removing the items and placing them back on the shelves,” police added.
The 6-foot-6 suspect, who weighs 250 pounds, is known to wear a kilt in the Houston suburb and has entered several shops in the area, The Smoking Gun reported.
He also allegedly carried out the gross act at the appropriately named Curiosity Shop, where owner Alisha Osborne told police that the man placed items “into his anus under his green skirt/kilt,” returning them to the shelves.
“Both Complainants advised they had to throw away the items that were used in this incident due to feces (being) on them,” the affidavit reportedly states.
Golden told KPRC that she believed she had seen Vest in the business on prior occasions, with employees telling her he’d spent “hours” in the store.
She said the dealers have either discarded or sanitized the goods after the sickening incidents.
Vest was the butt of many jokes on Facebook, where users reacted to the police statement.
“This is taking ‘a lot of junk in the trunk’ to the next level!” one person wrote, while another said: “He was just taking his kink to the next level.”
“Hopefully he can put this behind him,” yet another commentator wrote, while another thanked police for getting “to the bottom of this. Great job.”
