I have a foot-long penis — it’s so monstrous, I was barred from yoga
His downward dog was a bit too distinctive.
So much for bigger being better. The UK’s most well-endowed man, Matt Barr, claims that his titanic tallywacker has caused him some big problems, including dating difficulties, sex-ploitation, and perhaps, most embarrassingly, getting booted from yoga class because people thought he was aroused.
“I’m trying to dispel some of the stigmas,” Barr, 40, declared while discussing these well-hung hardships on a recent episode of British talk show “This Morning.”
The bulging Brit reportedly boasts “Britain’s biggest penis,” which measures more than 12 inches long when erect — more than twice the global average of 5.1 inches.
And while having a supersized shlong might seem like every man’s dream, it’s apparently not all that it’s cracked up to be.
“People have learned a lot of myths from pornography,” lamented the unlucky stiff, who was “shy” about his situation growing up.
“They don’t realize the implications that it would have when you’re actually living with a situation on a day-to-day basis.”
These implications — which he details in his upcoming autobiography “A Long Story: Life With One Of The World’s Largest Penises” — include broaching the subject on a date.
“It’s difficult because it’s not something you really spring on people as a surprise because it just does scare people away generally,” the phallically gifted fellow described.
“Obviously [you don’t want to be] creepy and bring it up too early.”
Not to mention that contrary to popular belief, having a behemoth manhood can paradoxically be an inconvenience in the boudoir.
“They love the idea more than the practicality,” lamented Barr.
“In porn, there’s lots of filters being used, it’s very small bodies, lots of camera angles and stuff, so when they face someone who’s actually that size, it’s not what they want.”
“There are people who like it for a bragging point of view,” added the Brit, who claims that some opportunists have have even tried to cash on his massive member.
During one nightmare encounter, Barr was even “catfished” by a woman who tried to get him to appear on their OnlyFans page under the guise of a “normal date.”
This battle of the bulge has gotten him in trouble in non-romantic situations as well, including one mortifying instance where he was accused of getting titillated during a yoga class.
“I was wearing a very baggy shirt and shorts [but because of the] yoga positions, people just got the wrong idea,” he described, per the Daily Mail.
Schlong story short, Barr was kicked out of the class.
Despite the cons of possessing a giant phallus, the sexually-enhanced man doesn’t plan on getting his manhood reduced anytime soon.
“It’s very expensive surgery, it costs about £15,000 [around $18,681.22],” he described.
“It’s only done, normally, in the cases of tumors and things like that. In the case of normal function, it’s not common.”
Barr says he ultimately hopes to dispel the stigma surrounding discussing his phallus, explaining, “I don’t see why there’s any difference talking about this and talking about your breasts or any other bodily part … it’s not sexualized. It’s just a fact of life.”
The Brit isn’t the only man whose experience problems due to his plus-sized penis.
New York’s Jonah Falcon who claims to possess the world’s largest penis — a whopping 13.5-inch beast — says he’s fed up with showing people his jumbo Johnson.
“I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them,” he declared. “I’ve done it 10,000 times — enough already!”
