Jimmie Allen recently revealed that he contemplated suicide after his former manager sued him for sexual assault.
The country singer, 38, made the revelation during a conversation with Kathie Lee Gifford, which was published via YouTube on Tuesday.
In May 2023, Allen’s manager accused him of raping her and repeatedly subjecting her to sexual abuse and harassment over the course of 18 months. She was identified as Jane Doe in the lawsuit.
At the time, Allen said they did have an affair and a “sexual relationship” for nearly two years, but it was allegedly consensual.
“She was my day-to-day manager, so she was with me everywhere I went. We’d hook up then we’d stop, and then when we’d stop . . . she’d get all sad and upset, so to make her feel better, we’d start hooking up again,” he tells Gifford, 70.
He adds: “I should’ve seen that she was into me. For me, even though it was just physical, I think for her it was getting emotional.”
Allen was “confused and heartbroken” and “pissed off” when the woman filed the lawsuit, and said he “absolutely” did not want an official relationship with her.
“It’s someone who’d become a friend,” he goes on. “I knew it was wrong because I’m in a relationship. That’s what I’m willing to take accountability for … For the longest time, in my head, I remember thinking, ‘As long as I’m providing for my wife and my children, I have the freedom to do whatever I want.’ That’s not the right mentality. It’s wrong. I made a commitment. I should’ve either stuck with it or ended it.”
Allen and his wife, Alexis Gale, who was pregnant with their third child at the time, divorced in the aftermath. He is the father of son Aadyn, 9, a son from a previous relationship, as well as daughter Naomi, 4, daughter Zara, 2, and son Cohen, 5 months, with Gale. He also welcomed twins with another woman amid their divorce.
Amid the scandal, he was also suspended from his music label BBR Music Group and was removed from the CMA Fest 2023 lineup by the Country Music Association.
“I was sitting there, and I literally felt like the whole world had just collapsed. ‘Cause the first thing my brain goes to is not the career, it’s ‘How am I going to provide for my kids?’ ” he says of his mental state at the time.
“It hit me. My life insurance covers suicide,” he says. “I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment, when you feel like you have nothing in the midst of a society where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty… [people think,] ‘she said this, so it must be true.’ “
Allen said he was “putting bullets” in his “gun clip” until his friend texted him.
“My friend Chuck texted me … He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer’ … I just stopped. I remember I called one of my buddies … He came up. I gave him my gun. I said, ‘Take it. I don’t need it,’ ” he recalls to Gifford. “My mom flew in, and then I started receiving phone calls from different artists checking in on me, saying they love me, they care about me, they know who I am. Then I started receiving calls from people I didn’t even expect. Some of the biggest actors in Hollywood that I’ve been fans of for years — I’ve never met — somehow got my phone number and called me.”
Allen “turned to drugs,” but later sought therapy and went to a retreat for mental health. The break ultimately “saved” his life.
“Every single day, I remember battling: Do I want to live? Do I not want to live?” he recalls. “When bills get due. I’m like, ‘Man, my family would have X amount of dollars if I would’ve took care of something,’ but I realized that’s not the way to do it.”
“After a few months … I started to look at the situation different. It went from, ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what am I supposed to learn?’ … I went from hating her to a little bit kind of feeling bad for her, trying to understand what was going on in her life that she needed to do this. How did I not make myself available for a conversation about her feelings?” he continued. “[I want] to continue to be honest with myself and being honest with everyone else.”
In March, Jane Doe dropped the singer from the suit as part of a settlement.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.
