I won’t pay for my child’s wedding because they won’t meet my conditions

A parent writing on Reddit is letting others know that he or she will pay for the children’s weddings only if certain conditions are met — and now the parent’s youngest has balked at the conditions, so payment is out.

The piece by the parent (gender not specific) has gotten nearly 4,000 reactions to date — with over 1,300 people already commenting on it in just a few hours since it was posted. 

The parent asked others on the social media platform, “AITA for paying for my oldest’s dream wedding but not my youngest’s [wedding], since she will not [meet] my two conditions?”

Wrote the user by the name of “Hot-Explanation9228” on Tuesday on the subreddit known as AITA (“Am I the a–hole”), “I am willing to pay for all my children’s wedding[s] if they follow two conditions.”

The conditions, the person said, are that “the venue needs to be wheelchair friendly. [And] they must invite all family [members] unless [there is] an extreme reason. Anything else is fine, and I will fund the wedding.”

However, the parent has now run into a problem — or, rather, the daughter who is to be married has the problem.

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“My elder’s wedding was around $40K and I [paid] for it all,” the parent wrote.

Now, the parent continued, “my youngest is planning her wedding and I told her the conditions when she got engaged.”

The Reddit writer continued, “Last week she informed me she found her venue and is asking for the down payment for it. The venue is in the mountains, and it is not wheelchair friendly.”

The parent went on, “The paths are dirt, the doors are not big enough, [there are] a ton of stairs. I reached out to the venue, and they have almost nothing for [those with] disabilities.”

So, said the parent, knowing all of this, “I informed my daughter today that I will not be paying since the venue breaks the first condition. This is where the argument started.”

Wrote the parent, “She thinks I am a jerk and [that I’m] playing favorites. I reminded her [there] were conditions for me paying, and she didn’t follow them.”

The parent added in an edit to the post, “To clarify, we have multiple family members who use a wheelchair. [Thus, the] wheelchair rule.”

Fox News Digital reached out to the Reddit poster for further comment and updates.

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Scores of writers weighed in on the situation in the meantime.

“It’s completely obvious that someone needs access. Are y’all just ablist?” wrote one commented in the top “upvoted” comment on the post. 

Another person wrote in a comment, “It’s completely fair if you don’t pay. It’s also completely fair for her to choose that location and pay herself. Would you be understanding?”

The original poster replied to that comment “That’s fine, saves me money, actually. I just won’t fund something that excludes family.”

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The same parent — the original poster — added, “I will not fund any part of a wedding that excludes people.”

Another commenter posed a series of questions to the original poster:

• “Did you ask her what her plan was for family who couldn’t attend due to lack of accessibility?”
• “Had she been planning to skip rule 2 and not invite these people?”
• “Did she hope they wouldn’t come once learning where the venue was?”
• “Is she not close to these people and, therefore, doesn’t care if they come?”
• “Why does she think you’re playing favorites if these rules apply to her siblings and have not been broken for them? Does she not know her sibling held to the rules and that’s why their wedding was paid for?”

Said the original poster in reply, “She didn’t have an answer …”

Another person wrote in reply to the original post, “It looks like you were extremely clear with your conditions, and your daughter decided not to follow them … You are not playing favorites. At worst, I would say that you’re putting conditions [on] a gift, but considering how generous it is and the conditions are nothing outside the ordinary, there’s nothing to complain about.”

The same commenter added, “On the other hand, I think your daughter is being extremely disrespectful. I can understand if she had a problem with the second condition, because sometimes you don’t want people you only talked [to] once or twice in your life in your wedding. But the problem is the first condition.

“It looks like she is trying to exclude people with disabilities. It’s really disgusting.”