We’re only having one kid — I don’t have enough ‘room to love another child’
A mum-of-one has revealed why she refuses to have another child and says doesn’t have ‘room to love another child’.
Alexandra Garrett, 27, had always wanted to be a mum and was over the moon when she found out she was expecting.
But during the pregnancy the mum-of-one struggled with health anxiety, and was so sick she couldn’t keep food down for 24 weeks.
She ended up admitted to hospital at 37 weeks with high blood pressure and had to have an emergency c-section to welcome little Emilia, 10-months-old.
Her little girl is a “dream” but Alexandra struggled with post partum anxiety to the point of worrying about taking Emilia in a pram over a bumpy path for fear of shaken baby syndrome.
Her health and finances have stopped Alexandra and her husband, 28, wanting another baby and she feels she doesn’t have “room” to love another child how she loves Emilia.
The couple are not alone with the birth rate in England and Wales falling to the lowest since records began, according to Office of National Statistics (ONS).
Alexandra, a primary school teacher, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, said: “I don’t think I could love another child like I love her.
“I cant see that there would be room for another one.
“I love that we only have one child.
“I don’t think her life is lacking because she doesn’t have siblings.
“She may needs siblings but she needs her mum more.
“Why would I risk it?”
Alexandra always wanted to be a mum and had thought she would have “one or two”.
She said: “From an early age I said it was on the cards to have children.
“If you’d have asked me what I wanted when I grew up – it would have been a mum.”
Alexandra met her husband, who is one of six, when she was 17 and the pair tied the knot in 2022 – trying for children straight away.
She said: “She was very wanted.”
Alexandra fell pregnant in April 2023 but her health anxiety “ramped up”.
She said: “I didn’t want to watch scary films in case it did something to her heart rate.
“It was irrational things.”
She also suffered badly with sickness and started to realise she wasn’t sure she would be able to go through pregnancy again.
Alexandra said: “I couldn’t do this again with a toddler.”
At 30 weeks her blood pressure shot up – even causing her to go blind momentarily one day.
She was in and out of hospital and ended up admitted at 37 weeks. After the birth she decided she didn’t think she could have another child for her health.
Alexandra said: “My labour was horrific – I had an emergency c-section.
“There was no way I could be a good mum to Emilia and have another child.
“We didn’t know if it would happen again.
“I’d do it again for her a million times over but for another child I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
Alexandra also struggled with post partum anxiety but got help after eight weeks and is now OK and is loving being Emilia’s mum.
She said: “She’s the type of child that would convince you to have a second.”
Another reason Alexandra doesn’t want another child is because of finances.
They want to be able to fund as many trips and clubs for Emilia to take part in – which they wouldn’t be able to do with another child.
She said: “We’re comfortable but we couldn’t comfortably afford another child.
“We wouldn’t have the money to buy a four bed home.”
Alexandra posted her views on TikTok and was surprised at the “controversial” reaction.
She said: “The comments were ‘I’m selfish’. ‘You’re only thinking of yourself’. ‘Can’t you adopt’.
“One said she hoped my husband left me for a less selfish women who would give her half siblings.
“Another woman tagged me in videos of unhappy only children.
“Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could stay out of others wombs.”
Alexandra feels the low birth rate is due to a number of things but said she believes “women realised they have a choice”.
She said: “Being a mum-of-one doesn’t make me any less of a mum.
“There is a lot of guilt – I’m not going to be able to give her siblings. It’s not in me.
“What if she resents me for that?
“But I live in the now.
“A sibling isn’t a guaranteed friend.”
