Leo poet and unrepentant party enthusiast Dorothy Parker wrote, “Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)”
Just as we all must die, each and every one of us is entitled to, and capable of having, a very good time before the casket closes. Aries, as the inaugural, first sign in the zodiac whose season coincides with the onset of spring, gets the whole f—-ng party started and often burns the midnight oil or the whole damn house down.
Special shout out to Taurus who may not party often but does so heartily. Not for nothing, Studio 54 opened during Taurus season 1977 and in short order saw the spectacular birthday parties of bulls like Bianca Jagger, who rode a white horse led by a nude man covered in gold glitter onto the dance floor and the incomparable Grace Jones who fed Divine cake from her bare hands while flanked by muscled men on the back of a Honda motorcycle. Check out the pictures.
Another bull big on banger parties was surrealist Salvador Dali an avid abstainer who once forced his guests to consort with live lions while dressed as unicorns and famously proclaimed, “I don’t do drugs, I am drugs.” Same, Sal, same.
Virgo is a kind of low key party hound who leans into the details and delivers big, case in point Queen frontman Freddie Mercury, whose mantra was “excess all areas.”
Mercury rented out the Fairmont New Orleans for a Halloween party/album release themed Saturday Night in Sodom and outfitted the environs with dead trees, snake charmers, caviar, sex workers, contortionists, fire eaters and dwarves with plates of cocaine affixed to their heads.
I will forever lament that I was born too late to be invited. In homage to the good times that have been and the good times yet to be, we bring you a list of the zodiac’s biggest party animals.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Leo lords over the fifth house of play, the bounce house of creativity, sexuality and revelry. In kind, lions know how to make a good time out of most any situation. Case in point, the original Woodstock took place in a remote field during the height of Leo season, 1969.
Natural galvanizers, Leos get other people up, out and dancing and are willing to stay out and keep the good times rolling until they receive their daily quota of compliments. Triple Leo Andy Warhol made partying an art and art out of the party.
In a succession of NYC spaces, christened The Factory, Warhol drew together a kaleidoscopic crew of artists, drug addicts, drag queens, aristocrats, musicians and muses whom he plied with high-grade amphetamines and put to work making silkscreens, starring in his films and otherwise creating a debauched and legendary scene.
Described as a “medieval court of lunatics,” The Factory owes a debt to its predecessors in decadence like Leo Louise de la Vallière, the mistress of the sun king (apt) Louis XIV, who had an eight day rager thrown in her honor at the Palace of Versailles.
The theme, and trust, Leos LIVE FOR A THEME, was “The Party of the Delights of the Enchanted Island,” and featured a twenty four foot long golden chariot, masked servants serving champagne, fireworks, gambling, an erotic ballet and literal dancing bears. Long may you reign, roar and rage my babies.
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SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Ruled by Jupiter, planet of abundance, abandon and excess and driven by a deep need to seek the strange, Sagittarius is a natural party animal, looking at you last man standing, snorting your dead dad’s ashes and paying for blood transfusions, Keith Richards.
Archers are ever on the look out for the next great adventure or legendary tale, energies not often found during a quiet night at home. Debauched Sag emperor Nero invented the adage ‘party til’ you puke; in his Domus Aurea, Nero, wearing wild animal skins, entertained guests with sex and feasting (be still my heart) and would only allow revelers to leave in order to vomit and return for even more eating and copulating.
Rock n’ roll, man.
On a more modern note, archer Miley Cyrus, she who delivered unto us the eternal gift that is,“Party In the U.S.A,” is also known to throw a real banger birthday party.
In 2017, Cyrus she hosted a weed themed fete for then partner Liam Hemsworth as well as sister Noah and BFF Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips, giving new meaning to the term “joint celebration.”
The festivities came complete with a giant golden horse, tattoo guns, weed infused margaritas and pizza, lots of pizza.
Yet this is small potatoes, or pot, if you will, in comparison to the life and times of Sagittarius Steve Rubell, the man behind the mischief, merriment and mayhem of Studio 54.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
No one loves to dance, drink, drug, f–k, or sing the pain away with more vigor than a Pisces. They suck at hosting dinner parties, save for potlucks, as the contents of their refrigerators typically amount to half a bag of baby carrots, gummy bears, whip cream and gin.
Easy to persuade, highly suggestible and having no standards for what a good time should look like, they make for excellent wing men, accomplices and alibis, always down to crash a wedding or go for broke on a cocaine breakfast, four martini lunch, strip club happy hour or last minute ayahuasca retreat.
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Examples of party positive Pisceans include most of my friends, Rihanna who famously showed up two hours late to her own Met Gala after party, and Kesha who penned the Pisces pep talk/party anthem, “My Own Dance” and with it the poignant words, “You’ve been through a lot of s–t but life’s a b–ch, so come on, shake your t–s.” A poem my friends, a poem.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
- The 12 zodiac signs
- What are the astrology houses
- Here’s what each planet represents
- Sun, moon, and rising signs: Get to know your Big 3
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
