Which zodiac sign is the worst kisser, according to an astrologer
Lick your lips and freshen your breath my babies, International Kissing Day arrives on July 6.
Taking it way back, ancient Romans distinguished the kiss into one of three categories; the osculum, a chaste closed mouth peck on the cheek or hand, the basium, lip on lip snas tongue slip and the salacious savium, a full throttle, open mouth, dance of tongue, spit and desire.
Savium comes from the Latin for soft and sweet and represented the pinnacle of intimacy, the kind of kiss sex workers won’t give and the sort that reveals whether or not a partner had been day drinking.
In the Rome of yore, a woman was legally obliged to kiss her husband, on the mouth, on the daily and when, where, and how one kissed their beloved, side piece and/or relative was an indicator of social status.
What makes a bad kiss then, now and always? The same qualifiers that make for a challenging rescue dog; foul breath, an overzealous tongue, excessive biting and general impetuousness.
Sheril Kirshenbaum author of “The Science of Kissing,” explains that there is a biological imperative to savium style kissing and the ardent exchange of saliva, “There may be an evolutionary basis to make it to a man’s advantage to be open-mouth kissing his partner.
Small amounts of the male sex hormone, testosterone, are in a man’s saliva. If he’s kissing the same woman over weeks and months, women are very sensitive to testosterone, and so it’s possible for that little bit of added hormones to make her more receptive to sex.”
It’s been argued by poets that a great kiss is a suspension of time and space and Aries has no patience for liminality.
What doesn’t make anyone receptive to sex? Having their tongue split in two by an overeager would be lover. Such was the case for this Turkish model who had to have emergency surgery after a first kiss gone seriously sideways.
The victim imparted the advice, “Don’t even say ‘Hi’ to guys who are Scorpios.”
Her hard won wisdom not withstanding, we have a different pick for the worst kisser in the zodiac. Read on to learn who and why and check out our pick for the zodiac’s best kisser here.
New York Post readers also love:
- Here’s which Marvel character you are based on your zodiac sign
- Here’s which ‘Harry Potter’ character you are based on your zodiac sign
- Here’s which ‘Star Wars’ character embodies your zodiac sign
- What action hero are you based on your zodiac sign?
ARIES (March 21- April 19)
As the first sign in the zodiac, Aries energy is impatient, and insistent, they have cities to conquer and races to win — a vibe great for hooking up under a tight deadline in a dive bar bathroom (thanks for the memories) less so for playing the long game of a magical make out.
Aries rules the head, face, tongue and lips and they like to kiss the way they like to talk, shout, direct and sulk, with more ferocity than finesse.
Ruled by warrior Mars, planet of sex and aggression, f–king and fighting, the athletic Aries brand of passion is reminiscent of a soldier en route to the battlefield, fervent and determined to get off quick so they can get on with the campaign. Heavy on passion, light on tact.
It’s been argued by poets and their lessers that a great kiss is a suspension of time and space and Aries has no patience for liminality. Aries qualifies as a bad kisser not because of their technique but because of their avidity, making their partners feel more surprised/startled than sensually activated.
Daniel ‘Harry Potter’ Radcliffe’s description of his on screen kiss with his Aries co-star Emma Watson is indicative of the intense style of the fire sign.
“I was ambushed! It was full on, it was incredible, I was not expecting that. I always thought it was going to be this soft sensual sort of moment and suddenly there was this vigorous kissing happening to me. She is a bit of an animal.”
Fellow Harry Potter alum Rupert Grint echoed Radcliffe’s sentiments, describing Watson’s kissing style as “vigorous.”
I personally prefer an animalistic approach to intimacy so I’m not kicking Emma or any other Aries out of the backseat. When it comes to kissing, as with honesty, calligraphy, and playing the violin, practice makes perfect so get down to it.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
- The 12 zodiac signs
- What are the astrology houses
- Here’s what each planet represents
- Sun, moon, and rising signs: Get to know your Big 3
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
